The Funeral is Over...What Now?

So your loved one has passed on, and the funeral is over.  What now?  So many people feel very alone after a loved one is gone.  This pain and grief only intensifies after the funeral, when people stop coming around, stop asking how you are doing, stop calling or coming by to check up on you.  For many, the time after a funeral service can be even more painful and full of grief than the time during the funeral planning.  There are many ways that we can help you during this time.  At Legacy Funeral Home, we don't want our relationship with your family to end after the funeral.  We want you to be able to count on us to help you through the difficult days ahead, the difficult process of healing.  It's the least we can do.

One of the ways we can help is through this blog.  In the days and months to come, we hope to be able to have resources that you can look to in your grief to help make your days easier, and your loss more manageable.  The blog is meant to be an extension to the grief counseling we offer on our website, and at our location.  With more than 15 years in the funeral service business, we have seen that although your grief is certainly unique, and your own burden to bear, many of the things you can do to lessen the grief and pain are the same.  Look for ideas and commentary on grief, healing, and comfort.  We hope that these will benefit you in a profound way.  Have a particular subject that you would like to read about on our blog? Please use the email contact link on the top of our webpage at www.azlegacyfuneralhome.com to suggest a subject, or ask a question.  Any participation from our families would certainly be welcomed, and any feedback on what you read here is certainly welcomed as well.  Leave a comment below, or send us an email with your thoughts or feelings.

One more way we can help is on our website under the "Grief and Support" tab.  There are links to online grief support groups and resources including books about grief support that have been helpful to many of our families going through the grieving process.  You can also sign up there for our 365 Days of Grief Support.  If you input your email address, we will automatically send you a daily affirmation for 365 days, with ideas about how to move on with your life after a death occurs and how to heal physically, emotionally, and spiritually.  Families who have signed up for this service have told us that the emails are a simple, yet profound way of remembering their loved one, and healing through their most difficult days.  The service is free, we would never sell your name or email address, or send you unwanted spam mail, and you can opt out at any time.  The following is the first email of the 365 day series of emails, just to give you an idea of the service we are offering:

Daily Email Affirmations by Legacy Funeral Home
Grief is a Five-Letter Word - Day # 1 Loss is everywhere, sprinkled throughout our lives, from childhood into old age. Some losses are shrugged off without much thought or acknowledgement – others are managed, navigated and quickly set aside, but others are so big we can’t ignore them. They lay us on the floor with sorrow, and the grieving process takes hold of us completely. Recognizing the actual regularity of loss, and the proven ability you have to work through loss and move forward with your life allows you to take control of your daily experience. You are the creator of your own experience. These emails will help you to work through grief, and come out the other side a stronger, more complete person. Each message will offer an action, an activity to help you put things in perspective, honor your place in the process, or care for your body and mind in some other way. It is our goal to help you “push the clouds away”, a bit at a time. Activity: Get a pad of paper, a blank journal, or simply a notebook. (I’ve found that writing in a beautiful journal can be inspiring – but some people would rather use an inexpensive notebook.)Buy a pen you love to use – something that writes smoothly and effortlessly. It’s time to start chronicling your experiences. One reason grief disrupts so many aspects of your life is because your loss is not isolated – now is the time to reflect on the other losses in your life. In so doing, each will become an opportunity to experience grief, and release it. List all the beings (animal companions, childhood friends, lovers, or partners) and all the places you’ve lost. Take a moment to honor each loss, perhaps closing the ritual by lighting a candle – a time-honored action of reverence. Here’s an example list from my own life: 1. My first cat, Beethoven 2. My childhood home 3. My first dog, B-B (short for “Beast”, a teacup Poodle!) 4. My marriage 5. My husband 6. My favorite teaching job 7. My mother and father (one dead and the other estranged) You get the idea, don’t you? What you’ll learn from this exercise is the recognition of your resiliency – you are strong, and you will survive this latest loss. Embrace the process, don’t resist it.