How Much Life Can You Fit in a Dash?

I had the opportunity last week to travel to El Centro, California with my husband Todd to help him on a funeral.  Truth be told, even though Todd has been in the funeral business almost 20 years, I've not been to many funerals with him.  I've been lucky enough to stay home with our children, and raise them for most of our married life.  Every once in awhile, though, I get the opportunity to help him on a weekend funeral.  The funeral we attended in El Centro was for a family I have never met.  This didn't stop me from crying through almost the entire sermon. It was poignant, and beautifully delivered by a pastor I have never seen before, who belonged to a church I have never been to;  but the message he gave was beautiful, and it touched my heart. I hope it will touch yours as well, as I try to share some of  it here.

He spoke about walking through the cemetery on many different occasions, and looking at the numerous grave markers, and monuments.  When you do this, there is a certain feeling you get, as you look at the names and dates of people who have lived, and died, whether you know them or not. No matter how they lived, or how they died, their lives are written on their grave markers all the same way:  with a name, date they were born, and the date they died, separated by a dash in the middle.  The pastor then went on to speak about that dash.

That little dash represents the life that a person lives between the day they were born, and the day they died.  That dash, for some, represents only a few days, weeks, or years of life.  Infants who may have only had days or weeks to live, or were stillborn, never having the opportunity to draw that first breath.  Children that were taken from us too quickly, leaving parents with broken hearts, and shattered dreams.  For others, though,  that little dash represents so much more.  It's hard to put a whole life into a little dash.  It's hard to see that dash on your mother or father, brother, sister or friend's grave marker, and try to fit all of the life they lived into that little dash.  That little dash represents a childhood, filled with innocent and sometimes mischievous memories.  Playing tag in the schoolyard, the first crush, childhood games, family vacations, jump rope, bicycle rides.  It represents the teenage years, filled with angst, discovering who you are, learning life lessons, driving, dating, friends, and fun. First love, and first heartbreak.  It represents relationships, marriage, sometimes divorce, children, career, military service,  more life lessons, everyday life, still discovering who you are, still reaching, still trying.  That little dash represents middle age, kids gone, a new life, working, problem solving, more life lessons, striving, learning, listening, counseling, helping.  It represents old age, grandchildren, traveling, vacations, retirement, more life lessons, love and occasional heartbreak.  How can one possibly fit an entire life into one little dash?

The answer?  We can't.  No one will know what kind of person your loved one was just from looking at their grave marker.  They will know when they were born, and when they died, but it is up to those yet living to make sure that those who come behind them will know what the little dash on their grave marker entails. In order for a person to have a legacy, what happened during their life, the time that fits in that dash, must be shared.  Stories must be told.  Pictures shown.  People remembered and honored.  Whether you choose to visit a grave marker once a month, or once a year, it is up to you to share that legacy with your loved ones and keep those memories alive.  That dash is indeed a poignant reminder.  A reminder that life is short.  Life is precious.  Love is important.  Live your life to the fullest, and make beautiful memories with your loved ones.  Live every day as if it were your last.  Love more, laugh often, listen with your whole heart.  Think about the dash on your own grave, and ask yourself:  What do you want people to remember about you?  What kind of Legacy will you leave?  How much life can you fit in a dash?